I think that I get labeled a sex comic just because I'm a woman I feel like a guy could get up here and literally pull his dick out and people would be like he's a thinker

My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion some compassion some humor and some style

What I heart when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me

Sorry I can't come to work today I'm sick of your sh-t

Well this just suck I wish I had a better way to say it but my brain feels totally stuck right now but I just want you to know that even though I might not always have exactly the right words you will

Don't be afraid to be open minded your brain is not going to fall out

I went to a disco last night they played the twist I did the twist they played the jump I jumped they played come on Eileen I got kicked out for that one

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor

A meal without wine is called breakfast

Religion is like a penis it's okay to have one it's okay to be proud of it however do not pull it out in public do not push it on children do not write laws with it do not think with it