"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car."

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."

"A book is a gift you can open again and again."

"One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining."

"Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places."

"Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head."

On life:

"Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it."

"You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories."

"It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars."

"Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough."

"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted."

On modern parenting:

"It's important for survival that children have their own experiences, the kind they learn from. The kind their parents arrange for are not as useful. Good parents are the hardest to get rid of."

"Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze."

On not getting what you want:

"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."

On the rich:

"The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future."

"A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table - there's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about."

On sex:

"Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn."

On marriage:

"Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?"

On being American:

"The most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that."

"Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk."