Humor/Funny Quotes

If we’re to be judged by our parents and grandparents, then we all may as well impale ourselves upon bits of rock. - Kristin Cashore

No. You said I looked “okay,” which is pretty much the same thing as saying, “Well, at least your nipples are covered. - Jenny Lawson

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. -Linda Grayson

I make all my decisions on intuition. I throw a spear into the darkness. That is intuition. Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear. That is intellect. -Ingmar Bergman

I hope I never get so old I get religious. -Ingmar Bergman

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. -Mary Karr

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer. -Douglas Adams

It’s pretty rare to find someone you actually liketo be with in this world. There are a lot of annoying people out there. -Sarah Dessen

He was my perfect match. Unfortunately he wasn’t aware of this fact. -Kody Keplinger

Thank God we can’t tell the future. We’d never get out of bed. -Tracy Letts

Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours. -Boone T. Pickens

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living. -Viktor E. Frankl

There is no such thing as a soulmate… and who would want there to be? I don’t want half of a shared soul. I want my own damn soul. -Rachel Cohn

I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist. -Gena Showalter

Reading - it’s the third best thing to do in bed. -Jarod Kintz

One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people. -Jarod Kintz

Whenever I run into prejudice. I smile and feel sorry for them, and I say to myself, there’s one more argument for birth control. -Freddy Fender

I will love myself despite the ease with which I lean towards the opposite. -Shane Koyczan

It makes me sad when I find sisters who aren’t joyful. They might smile, but with just a smile they could be flight attendants! -Pope Francis

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. -Rudyard Kipling

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I am not perfect nor will i ever be I am a work in progress and that is definitely good enough

I am not perfect nor will i ever be I am a work in progress and that is definitely good enough

Love in truth doesn't need any other adjectives it doesn't require modifiers it doesn't require the condition of perfection it only asks that you show up and do your best

Love in truth doesn't need any other adjectives it doesn't require modifiers it doesn't require the condition of perfection it only asks that you show up and do your best

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