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FUNNY INSPIRING LIFE LOVE SPIRITUAL

Whatever you give a woman she's going to multiply

Whatever you give a woman she's going to multiply
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If you give a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion

Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion
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Tina Fey saying it like it is

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Somehow it's ok for people to chuckle about not being good at math yet if I said I never learned to read they'd say I was an illiterate dolt

Somehow it's ok for people to chuckle about not being good at math yet if I said I never learned to read they'd say I was an illiterate dolt
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The man's guide to love and lasting relationships

The man's guide to love and lasting relationships
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One man's humorous take on finding the perfect partner(s).

I think that I get labeled a sex comic just because I'm a woman I feel like a guy could get up here and literally pull his dick out and people would be like he's a thinker

I think that I get labeled a sex comic just because I'm a woman I feel like a guy could get up here and literally pull his dick out and people would be like he's a thinker
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What I heart when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me

What I heart when I'm being yelled at is people caring loudly at me
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Sorry I can't come to work today I'm sick of your sh-t

Sorry I can't come to work today I'm sick of your sh-t
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I went to a disco last night they played the twist I did the twist they played the jump I jumped they played come on Eileen I got kicked out for that one

I went to a disco last night they played the twist I did the twist they played the jump I jumped they played come on Eileen I got kicked out for that one
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Religion is like a penis it's okay to have one it's okay to be proud of it however do not pull it out in public do not push it on children do not write laws with it do not think with it

Religion is like a penis it's okay to have one it's okay to be proud of it however do not pull it out in public do not push it on children do not write laws with it do not think with it
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It just does mom I can't explain why it feels so good to be a gangster

It just does mom I can't explain why it feels so good to be a gangster
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It doesn't matter how I begin my poems because by the end they are all about you

It doesn't matter how I begin my poems because by  the end they are all about you

Trust is like a paper once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again you can flatten the paper and try and make it as straight as you want but it will never be perfect again

Trust is like a paper once it's crumpled it can't be perfect again you can flatten the paper and try and make it as straight as you want but it will never be perfect again

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